Monday, January 18, 2016

Funny (or Terrifying) Disney Freeze Frames: Part 4

Here we are again with another look into Disney freeze frames. Today I want to look at Disney's Hercules to see what happens when the movie is paused. In my selection I have tried to avoid too many terrifying freeze frames--of which there were many to choose from with Hades and all of his evilness/evil allies. So, let's get started shall we... if we can go the distance that is.

This beloved Disney couple learned the hard way that just because something is free doesn't mean they should accept. Especially if it is a lunch of hot dogs, pop rocks, and energy drinks given by Hades followed by a ride on his new roller coaster.

Zeus was so proud the first time he heard Hercules was attempting to swim through the air, however he was less enthused when he discovered that this was the result.

Never send an imbecile to retrieve your lunch, they never get your order right. Hades ordered two tacos with a side of mild hot-sauce... his came back with a large helping of the worlds hottest hot sauce (Hercules brand no less), sadly this was the result. Does anyone have a glass of water, milk... anything? 

Megara could never resist a good joke, or even a bad one. Hercules however had never been one for jokes and was rather disgusted when she splashed water on him and then proceeded to tell him that "he was such a drip." Puns and demigods (or demoted gods if you prefer) don't go together apparently. 

Rolling out of bed always causes one to have a look of tired terror, but for those unlucky enough to be the landing pad waking terror is the thing.

As word spread all throughout the lands few would dare come near Hercules' hands. Legend was that he was attempting to reach the all time record of five years for 'no hand washing', so far he has gone for over four and a half years without water or any antibacterial solutions having touched his hands. Now cold dread enters the hearts of anyone or anything who would see his hands facing them.

Phil's alternative personality Violet was always much more innocent and kind than he, but some say that Violet wore fake eyelashes that were too long for her petite frame.

Even Hercules and his friends have heard of the mythical Disneyland, but none had seen it until that moment... it was more magical than they could ever have imagined.

Already Phil's evil plot was working, Hercules was constipated, he had turned that annoying Pegasus into no more than a flying horse shaped dog, and Megara was calling him Uncle Phil and as she thought he was family she was bringing him all sorts of baked treats. Yes, life was good for the now evil Phil, he had won.

Megara and Phil were amazed at the length of a Pegasus tongue, and the sweet creature was consuming the attention as swiftly as possible. Hercules meanwhile was calculating what he would do with all of the money his friends unique trait would bring to him if only advertised properly--fizzy drinks, action figures, a new cart, they would soon be his.

Hercules always became angry when anyone would dare call his sweatband unfashionable. Nobody insults his style... nobody!

"The Day the Muse Became the Pirate" Argh, talk like a pirate day be at it again, argh.

Nobody told Hercules that model building could be so stressful. Wait, was that piece 1,589 G or 1,684 K? Does it fold into the slot or snap in? Wait, what am I building?

Hercules once heard of bell flowers, ever since then he has been trying to ring every flower he sees... no amount of explaining by concerned (aka annoyed) friends seems to dissuade him from this lingering disillusion.

And here we have young Hercules crying to his father about how his action figure lost its cape. Quite the heartbreaking scene I must say.

Moral of this story. Never volunteer to be the horse at a make-believe rodeo... just, never!

Phil has never seen such biceps in his entire career, but it doesn't matter, for their colossal strength broke his lucky measuring tape! 

Here we have Hercules' first staring contest. Who will win, who will lose, who will go home crying to mommy? No one knows, but the odds are five to one against Hercules according to the local bookie, so get your bets in while there is still time!

This Muse's favorite pastime and long-held dream is that of mime, opera singing, and fashionista of wigs and mummy wrappings... how all of these work together we will never know, but here is a visual result.

Even monsters get the hiccups, that's why Hercules and Megara formed the "Hiccup No Mo(re)nsters" league, where the goal of all members is to rid monsters of hiccups once and for all. Here we have an example of one of their earlier attempts at scaring a monster of their hiccups... it failed.

Trying to relieve his new monster friend of a nasty headache, the delightful Pegasus does an interpretive song and dance either about love or constipation.

Phil never did fully learn the art of loosing gracefully. No matter how hard he tried to get over the memory of loosing the marble shooting championship he still couldn't hide the pain of failure, nor the snarl of disgust he felt for his cheating competitors.*
*Cheating was not proven by marble shooting overseer

No child should be forced to see the unearthly and even ungodly sight of a rare Cloudasus, for those seemingly innocent creatures have the power--if you look inside their eyes--to show you the horror known as movie spoilers.

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